The 12 Steps of AA

THE TWELVE STEPS OF AA I am going to explain the process of working the twelve steps outlined in AA’s Big Book and what that actually means to the person working them. Over the years the twelve steps have become a “concept” in most people’s minds. The fact that it’s an actual proven process seems to have been forgotten. It’s been tested time and time again and it works, as long as the person doing it is truly willing to be totally honest and thoroughly diligent. Addiction has been around for a long time. In fact it’s even touched upon in the Bible. Methods of recovery on the other hand, have not. After hundreds and hundreds of years of just letting addicts die or locking them away in sanitariums, a method was devised that seemed to work for the true addict…the twelve step process outlined in the Big Book of AA. In the early part of the last century two recovering alcoholics named Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob put their heads together and came up with a process that seemed to work for the “true addict.” In order for one to understand what that means they have to wrap their head around the fact that all heavy drinkers are not true alcoholics. If given sufficient reason a good number of them can actually stop abusing drugs and or alcohol. This isn’t so for the true addict. If a person is the real kind of alcoholic or addict that is described in the Big Book of AA then no other man made means is going to stop them from using and abusing. Not one method or treatment center can boast the success rate that AA had when it first started. Addicts everywhere were discovering a new life and a new freedom from their addictions. Not only were they giving up the habits that seemingly ruined their lives, they were staying clean. So what are these magical steps and why do they work? They are a regimented process that the alcoholic or drug addict undergoes that cleans out the wreckage that they have made of their lives. The process helps the person recognize their own faults in past matters and ultimately allows them the opportunity to mend many past mistakes. They are led into a deep self analysis that brings all the dark little secrets into the light and they finally look at them closely. Once this is done it’s about that time that they will start to feel a change in the world around them. They start getting “out of themselves” and into life again. They begin to care for the people around them a little more. They come to realize that life is finally something to look forward to. They for once believe, truly believe, that there is a higher power out there running things. So exactly what are the steps? This is the order: Step one says we admit we have a problem and cannot manage our lives on our own. This is hard for a lot of alcoholics because one dominate characteristic of the true alcoholic is that they are control freaks to the core. They like to think that even though they have a drinking problem, they have the rest of their lives under control. It usually takes some convincing get them to see that even though they have been driving the bus, they suck at it. If they were actually in control then they wouldn’t be having this issue. Simple as that. Next comes step two, which states that they come to believe that only a power higher than themselves will be able to get them to stop using. By this time they have usually been through treatment centers and rehab facilities to no avail so it often takes very little convincing. Once a person has exhausted all other methods of recovery they usually have no trouble believing that it will take more than just their willpower to stop. That leads them into step three. This step is where they finally make a decision to turn their lives over to whatever higher power is out there. They make a conscious choice to let someone else drive the bus for awhile. At this time there is a prayer called the third step prayer that the sponsee and sponsor do together that basically seals the deal. Once done the sponsee is obligated to follow through. Of course many don’t. These three steps I just outlined should not take that long. From the minute a person decides that they need help, to the minute they say “amen” at the end of step threeshould not take that long at all. In my opinion it should take only a week or so. There is a lot of controversy over what I just said in the AA community between AA pacifists and AA extremists. The pacifists think a person should take a year or more to do these threesteps. I personally disagree. If a person came to me and said they were terminally ill and I was holding the cure, would I tell them that I have a cure but they will have to wait a year to use it? Of course not. If a person is sick enough to seek out a cure, then it’s the responsibility of every member of AA to help them find that cure as soon as possible. These first three steps are merely ideas and decisions. If a person can take a year from the time that they walked into AA to the time that they are saying the third step prayer, then they must not have been hurting that much. But this falls on the shoulders of the sponsors. It’s bad sponsoring and laziness that have led to this now common practice. The Big Book of AA clearly states that this is a program of VIGOROUS action, and waiting a year to make a decision is not “vigorous.” This leads us to step four. It’s at this point that a lot of people give up. Step four says they take a fearless and thorough moral inventory of our lives. The person sits down with pen and paper and searches out the dark nooks and crannies of their inner selves. They put down every bad thing that they have done and every bad thing done to them. They must be totally honest at this point or the process doesn’t work. Rigidly honest. That’s not as easy as it sounds. Hurtful and shameful things that have been buried for a lifetime come to the surface again. But it is necessary because it’s the culmination of these “resentments” that have led them down the road of destruction. This step usually takes a week or so and when it’s complete the person doing it usually has quite a sizable list in front of them. Now comes the really hard part. Step five. Step five says that the person takes their list and makes a full disclosure to themselves, their higher power and one other human being, usually their sponsor. Now admitting all of their flaws to themselves and their higher power is easy enough, but to tell another person all of their deep dark secrets is not. It’s humiliating and humbling and tends to make one’s ego balk. But once completed, the person almost immediately feels fifty pounds lighter. Things that they have been hiding for years have been brought to light and they feel that they can finally start getting rid of them. Once done they are ready for step six. Step six states that the person is ready and willing to let go of all that garbage build up and let their higher power have it all and handle it all. It’s a lot like confessing your sins to a priest, just not as formal. This is usually accomplished through a brief period of prayer and meditation. After this they are ready to move on to step seven, the dreaded amends list everyone has heard about. To work on step seven the person must refer back to the previous list in step four and start a new list. The amends list. They look back over their lives and write down every single person that they have harmed. Even institutions can fall on this list. If a person feels that they wronged a company for instance, then that company goes on the list. They do this honestly and with a new outlook on situations from the past. Once they have the list completed they move on to step eight which says that they become willing to actually make the amends to the people on the list. Once they have finished step eight by becoming willing to make actual amends to people they have hurt, they move on to step nine. This is the step that they actually go out and make amends to these people. This is one of the hardest things some people will ever do. This step also takes some time because people aren’t always easy to find after years and years. But the person working the steps must honestly keep trying until the list is done. By this time they should only be a couple of months into the program. If they are honest, diligent and thorough about working step nine, when they are done they are going to have what is called a “spiritual experience.” This happens differently for everyone but it does happen. It’s usually not a burning bush type of experience but more of a “spiritual awakening.” My own experience was somewhat subtle compared to some, but just as real none the less. Even if they haven’t had a noticeable experience at this time they move right into steps ten, eleven and twelve. These last three steps are done for the rest of their lives and ensures their continued sobriety. Step ten says that they continue to take personal inventory on their actions every day and promptly admit when they are wrong and quickly repair any damage they may have caused. They must always be on the lookout for any ill feelings they may cause another. Step eleven is all about enhancing their connection to whatever higher power they have in their lives through prayer and meditation. They may also try to learn new and better ways of meditation, and once found, use these methods for a clearer path to their higher power. This also goes on for the rest of their lives in conjunction with step ten. The last step is step twelve. They must go out and find another addict and give that person a message of hope. They must try to convince another hurting person that there is a way out of addiction and that there is a life out there that is beautiful and rich.That isn’t always as easy as it sounds. And they must continue to do this for the rest of their lives if they want to ensure their own sobriety. So far I’ve explained to you how to work the twelve steps of AA. The basic mechanics of it all. If you haven’t noticed, staying sober isn’t even mentioned in the steps. The person gets so far out of themselves working them that staying sober almost becomes a byproduct of the process. But why do the steps work? The answer is simple. The addict, usually for the first time in their lives, is finally living “outside” of themselves. They are for once thinking of how they can help others and they are for once thinking about God. And God is taking an active part in their lives. They don’t become religious fanatics or zealots, but their connection to their higher power is stronger than ever at this point. They start to “live” the way they know they were meant to. They have been put in a place of neutrality around alcohol and drugs and helping other addicts keeps them in that place as long as they keep the connection to God open at all times.